Rainbows in the Dark
It rained that day…
The day my marriage ended.
The Earth heard my cries and didn’t want my tears to be alone anymore.
Every rain drop meant just for me and my breaking heart.
I try to ignore the crumpled tissue in my hand resembling a wedding gown.
One, two, three, four, five.
I count five folds in its paper skirt, one for every year of marriage.
Each cascading ruffle a reminder of the reasons we fell apart.
It’s mocking me.
Tried so hard to cram in the pieces when there wasn’t even a puzzle.
I see now what I was blind to then.
Far too naive, grasping onto a future that wasn’t a reality.
You gave me acres worth when my soul longed for the whole world.
So who’s fault is that?
I have to get out of this house.
The place we called home, now haunted.
These walls know dark secrets…
the corners I once gave you are no longer mine.
I watch as our demons surrender to the inevitable.
My ring broke just weeks before,
a cruel foreshadowing of what was to come.
Bent metal of the once perfect circle, disfiguring its pure symbolism.
The faint impression around my finger already fading into nothing,
as if it had never been there.
Like the hives on my body screaming at me,
they too knew what I refused to accept long before I could.
Broken. Everything is broken.
Holding my breath, I know it’s time to let go…
The trapeze act is over, I’ve hit the net.
My one woman show must go on.
After all, it had always been a solo act.
Enough applause doesn’t exist to make it worth the hurt.
I’m urged to get back up on stage but I don’t want to,
so I’m not going to; isn’t that what you always say?
If the sun rises in the East, why must it set there too?
There simply aren’t enough stars in the ether to help me now.
I’m left pleading with an endless black hole, praying the void swallows me.
I’m done, I can’t do this. Please…
When suddenly the storm breaks and colors streak the sky.
The heavens broke open that day to wash me away.
The endless night is finally dawning.
Soaking in my sorrow, or is that hope that cleanses my skin?
I’m left wondering where hues go when there’s no light to absorb them.
How many rainbows do we miss in the dark?